We're Coming to Take You Away!
I never believed such an insult was possible, especially from my very own mom. I checked to see if my eyes were playing tricks on me, but they weren’t. Mom misspelled my name on the 2015 Feline Funny Farm calendar.
Phooey on her! Of all the people in our family, SHE should know I am Gobblin’ Goopuss. Note the double s at the end of my name. She left one off and immortalized the error on that calendar. I am insulted and offended!
Oh my! Today is World Spay Day, and I almost missed it (the day, not the spay)! World Spay Day is an annual campaign of The HSUS, Humane Society International and the Humane Society Veterinary Medical Association, according to the HSUS website.
It’s been another quiet day here at the Funny Farm. With a low of -10° F expected here in Mewchigan, there is little reason for my humans to go out except to work (today was Dad’s first day back since being hospitalized in late January) or to care for a family member’s cats (Grandma does a shift in the morning and Mom in the evening). Mom was hoping for a call from a local compounding pharmacy (whatever that is) for a prescription for Patch, who seems to have a bad cold but would not cooperate with the usual means of administering medicine nor eat any food to which it had been added (maybe the cherry flavor was too much for her). No call yet.
As for me, since I have nothing better to do, having a few morsels of dry chow sounds like a great idea to me. Mom has to admit that my sisters (Jolie and Jenise) and I are on the chubby side, She would prefer us to eat canned food (not as fattening). I do not cooperate much with that, and Jenise absolutely rejects the whole idea, Only Jolie makes a worthy attempt to please Mom. Then there’s Googlie, who really chows down on her canned food!
Mom is still amazed at how daring I am becoming. She took some photos of me in her bedroom this morning when I came in to join Googlie, Jou Jou B, Jolie, and Jenise, and made myself at home in the little “cave bed.” We cats love to give our humans surprises!
I am squinting because Mom is still putting that dumb drop in my right eye twice a day.
When Mom got home from work this afternoon, she and Grandma took my Aunt Toshi Purrs-a-Lot to the dreaded V-E-T, Toshi did not eat or move from one particular spot in the living room all day, and she seemed a bit congested. The vet prescribed azithromycin liquid for her. Mom got some for Patch, who is also congested. Good luck getting any of that stuff into Patch! Patch was too smart to eat that “doctored up” food this evening. I don’t think Toshi appreciated the surprises she got today.
I am glad that the furnace has not gone out again…but somewhat glad it did that once, because Mom got two big space heaters. One of them has been running in the bedroom since Mom got home from teaching this evening. Mewchigan has been very cold this winter, and it is chilly in the basement without extra heat. We cats love to be toasty warm, and Mom knows it. I am also happy that my belly is full of supper, and Mom is here with Jolie, Jenise, and me.
We hate to say this, but we think Mom may suffer from multiple personalities. One day she is nice and limits herself to messing with our ears (Pirate) and right eye (Pawscar). Then next day, she becomes someone else, attacking Pirate with a needle and bag of fluids and Pawscar with some yucky tasting liquid swill. We are unable to figure out anything we might have done to cause this predictable unpredictability. We are very pleasant kitties who, for the most part, mind our own business and hang with our friends. Is there anything we can do to keep “nice Mom” and eliminate “mean Mom?”
I should have known something fishy (and not in a good sense) was going on when Mom brought that large rectangular box with the metal-barred door into her bedroom again yesterday. It has been gone for a long time, but last time it was here, it led to no end of troubles for me. She put some really nice catnip inside the box, and I thought that made it a great place to take a nap. Then I ended up at the vet for several days.
Mom tried the same tactic today, and I almost fell for it. She nearly had that door closed when I caught on to her plan. I pushed out of there so hard and so fast that she could not keep me inside. Nice try, Mom! She tried to tell me I would not be stuck in the hospital again; all I need is something called a “vaccine.” I do not know what that is, and I do not want to find out.
Mom was not too happy with me the other day. She was trying to get some work done on her laptop, and kept hearing growling. Finally she looked up and saw that I was playing with Cara Mia. For some reason, she knew that Cara Mia did not want to play, so she ran after me, stomping her feet. I bushed up my fur and especially my tail. She usually thinks that is cute, but this time it had no effect on her mood. Much as I did not want to stop, I quit playing with Cara Mia. We have to keep Mom happy, right?
Mom is worried about me. I have been here two weeks now, and I am still hanging out in the cage she set up for me for when I first arrived. After the first week, she said I could come out and join Googlie and my sisters. She even leaves the cage doors open all the time. I keep returning to the cat bed in my cage. I try to tell her I am just fine. She says I sound like my sisters. The bed is safe and comfortable. Doesn’t she realize that I am happy to have a home where no one, cat or human, picks on me?
Today a suspicious person visited our house. He came downstairs (where we live) and made weird noises in the room next to ours. Mom and Dad were talking about a plumber (whatever that is) and a new bathroom faucet. After 90 minutes or so the man went upstairs, but I could still hear his voice for a while.
I am not fond of strangers. After this one was gone and Mom was about to go to work, she started doing one of her usual “cat counts.” She found everyone but me. I thought I had found the perfect hiding place: cozy, dark, and out of sight. Suddenly the door to my hiding place slammed shut. I was trapped!
Mom has been trying to get me to the vet for a while now, because I am more than a year overdue for shots. I am very talented at avoiding capture, and I am strong. Today, however, my desire for privacy defeated me.
Mom told Dad she did not want to be late for work, but just had to take this opportunity to get me in for vaccinations. I complained, but not too loudly. I hid under the bedding in the carrier. Nothing changed Mom’s mind.
We arrived at the veterinary hospital. Mom and I were taken to a room. It seemed like forever before I was allowed out. Then I encountered another stranger: Dr. R. Mom apparently knows her well. Dr. R. poked me in the sides, listened to my heart, and tried to look in my mouth. I squirmed and struggled. Dr. R. took me into another room. I was stabbed several times. My nails were clipped. Finally, Dr. R. took me back to Mom and told her to call Friday for the “results.”
Mom is lucky I don’t hold a grudge. Besides, most of the time she treats me well, I know she loves me.